21 ways to die at a Snow Resort

Snow resorts are dangerous places, especially during Christmas Holidays and after happy hour. Here’s some of the other hazards you might encounter when going on your holiday.

  1. Get a heart attack when you check your credit card bill at the end of your vacation.
  2. Be aware of Tiroler instructors, their beauty make you snow blind.
  3. Drown in your own tears when the café doesn’t offer your specific brand of gluten free chai latte thee.
  4. Get bored to death while listening to a skier’s advice on different bootstraps.
  5. Stuff your face with free energy drinks until they make you run into the frozen river for relief. Then die of hypothermia.
  6. Start a relationship with a mountain man/woman and then suffocate in his/her beard while kissing.
  7. Don’t wear a helmet. You’ll also be a waste of time for snow patrol when they retrieve your corpse.
  8. Choke on a piece of bread while eating cheese fondue.
  9. Fall into a treewell, find out it’s a portal to another dimension and evolve into something extraordinary.
    This doesn’t really kill you but you can count on it that you’ll be hard to understand.
  10. When in New Zealand: get your rear view mirror stolen by a mountain parrot and die later that day while you reverse into a cow.
  11. High five too many people and die from exhaustion.
  12. Get killed by people envious of your goggle tan.
  13. Overdose on hashtags.
  14. Get eaten by a hungry liftie. Sucks, but at least you died for a good cause.
  15. Point out to someone from another certification how wrong they snowboard. Then die of boredom from the discussion that follows.
  16. Pick a fight with snow patrol. You will lose.
  17. Mountain mascots, never trust a stranger in a suit following you around aggressively trying to hug you.
  18. Die of happiness when you’re standing on the top of a jump at the start of a moguls course.
  19. Spend too much time uploading videos to Snapchat and die from overexposure.
  20. Get suicidal after answering for the thirtieth time to the question: “Where is the toilet?”
  21. Here’s one you should think about: Throw your cigarette butts in the snow causing major harm to the environment thus slowly killing us all.
About Jozefien 47 Articles
Hi, my name is Jozefien. I like to inspire women to get down with their bad self through snowboarding. To be tougher, sexier and ready to kick some butt. This is why I created this website: mountainwomen.co. Here you can find info for your own journey in the mountains.

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